I shared in a previous post that the word God gave me for this year was BIRTH. If you missed that post, you can find it here. The reason for mentioning that again is the realization I had a few weeks ago that all of my struggles so far this year have spoken a very different word in my ear…
I have had a number of times during the past seven months where I have felt as though I am a complete failure. I look back over fourteen years of full-time ministry, and see zero people I have personally led to Christ. I can recall multiple projects I worked on that I left unfinished. Some of those things were completed by other people; others are still lying on a shelf somewhere likely never to be seen again.
I tell myself that surely I have made a difference in the world. I must have contributed something during the course of my life, right?
I know in my head the answer to that question. I know all about the principle that some sow, and others water, and still others get to bring a harvest. Most of the time, I am very happy as the one who sows or waters. However, in a world driven by results, some days it is easy to feel like a failure with no tangible fruit to celebrate when I look back.
One day as I struggled through these feelings, it hit me. The word that was being whispered in my ear by all of these thoughts was “barren”. According to dictionary.com, barren is defined as fruitless and unproductive. How interesting that the feelings I struggled with during the first half of this year spoke a word to my heart that was in direct opposition to God’s word for me this year.
What struggles are you dealing with in your own life lately? What words are they speaking to your heart?
If you haven’t taken the time to identify the answers to those questions, maybe take some time today to think about them. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if the struggles are speaking the exact opposite of what God wants to do in your life right now. Perhaps by recognizing one, you’ll find the other, and I can attest to the freedom of being able to speak God’s truth in place of the lies that come!
No matter what other voices may say, I know God is bringing new things into the world through me this year. I will walk in the truth of my verse for the year, Luke 1:45, “And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord.”