I’m sure there is probably a better title for this post, but at the moment that word sums up my thoughts.
You see, I have just realized that three weeks from today, I’ll be moving out of my house. Ten days after that I’ll be flying to visit friends and family in Florida, and another two weeks after that I’ll be leaving the country indefinitely!
I know that if you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you’re aware of the impending move. (I’m sorry if this is boring.) I have obviously been aware of this coming change for months, and yet as it draws closer – and things such as selling furniture and packing away memories happen – I’m reaching new levels of realization.
The realization that I am leaving behind everything and everyone I know for a time is a little frightening and sad. I am sad to leave my family, friends and roommates – yes, they get a category all their own. I am a bit sad that I will leave so soon after my youngest niece’s 1st birthday, and miss out on so much of the fun as she grows and begins talking. I missed a lot of that with her brother and sister too, and it’s no fun. 😦
There is also a likelihood that a good friend will get married during the time that I’m gone, and I’ll not be able to come back for her wedding. And with the knowledge that I’ll be gone at least a year, it’s possible that won’t be the only major life event I miss.
So, with all of the things I’ll miss, why am I leaving for a place I’ve never been?
Because God asked me to.
It’s as simple as that. I am doing my best to follow His lead, and this is where He’s leading. I don’t know what will happen when I arrive, where I will live, how I will raise the rest of the money I need for travel and monthly expenses, who I will meet, or anything else. The thing I do know, though, is that the One I’m following will take care of me.
I also know that He is worth anything I miss during this time away. It is scary to step out in faith into the unknown. Some people thrive on that, but I am not typically one of those people. Unfortunately, my tendency is often to fill the void of all that I don’t know with the worst case scenarios. Then, when I look back at what I’m leaving behind, those things seem so desirable compared to this picture I have created of the possible future I am moving into.
This time, however, I have chosen to fill the unknown space with exciting God moments, divine appointments, new friends, fun experiences, tasty food, and great music – it is Ireland after all. I am also choosing to let the space stay largely unimagined. As uncomfortable as the unknown makes me, I’m choosing to let it be just that. (Obviously, even when I paint what might be, it is still unknown, but it doesn’t look so daunting.)
I’ll discover what this year holds as it comes, and trust God with all of the unknowns. After all, He works all things for my “good”, right? (See previous post for more info on that.) 🙂
Have you had an experience where you were completely outside of everything you’d ever known? Do you enjoy the feeling of taking a leap of faith or try to eliminate unknowns before jumping? I’d love to hear your stories! Please tell them in the comments below.